Third Culture Kid: A term used to refer to children who were raised in a culture outside their parent's culture for a significant part of their development years.
I was born in Singapore, but moved to New York City when I was 10. From there, we moved to Shanghai, China just after my 13th birthday in which I attended two different international schools in the span of two and a half years. After China, my father was posted to Seoul, South Korea where I spent a year and a half finishing up high school before I applied to school in California, where I currently reside at the University of California, Irvine.
Being a third culture kid is confusing, exhausting and stressful. I say this because the people I meet outside of the international community often 1) don't understand my experiences, or 2) think I'm lying about my experiences. I have been exposed to both the local culture of the countries I have moved to, as well as the cultures of my friends. Attending international schools has allowed me the experience to learn about a myriad of different cultures and meet people from countries I will probably never be able to visit. In my senior year, my friend group alone consisted of individuals from India, Korea, Kuwait, America, Belgium, Germany, Australia, England, Sweden and Canada.
The two moves I have struggled with most have been the ones from Singapore to New York City (at age 10), and from South Korea to California (at age 18). Part of the reason behind this is because America hates (for lack of better word) foreigners. The attitude that Americans have towards foreigners and international students really astounds me; there are so many unspoken negative connotations that come with being "international". Upon meeting me, people tell me that they "can't even tell" that I'm international like it's a fucking compliment. Being a foreigner in America is associated with the stereotype of Mexicans climbing over the fence separating the borders of America and Mexico.
My biggest pet peeve is when people look at international students and say that they should speak English or dress a certain way because "they're in America now". A friend of mine literally said this, word for word, just the other day, completely forgetting that I myself am an international student. Upon realizing her momentary lack of discretion, she quickly apologized. I remain confused: why would I ever conform to the ways in which you think I should act? The longer I stay here [in America], the more it bothers me that I have nowhere to go and that there is no place where I will ever fully fit in.
In fact, I have found that the international school community is my only safe haven where being international is considered to be a good thing. International schools often have their own culture - a culture that I have spent most of my developmental years in and have trouble letting go of. The more places one has lived in or traveled to, the better. International kids often have the same accent - one that isn't American, isn't British and isn't really anything but a mix of different accents from amalgamating with different cultures. Those in the international community often know of each other; my friend from Seoul is now attending high school with a friend from Shanghai in Edinburgh, Scotland; my cousins attended the same international school in Dubai as a kid I had met in Shanghai. International kids argue over which country has the best food and are able to joke about each others' countries without being racially offensive.
From my very first day at "International Orientation" at UC Irvine, during which we were taught to fist-bump and high-five, I have noticed that there is a certain prejudice that I have noticed specifically here at UC Irvine that targets international students. The majority of the international students here are from mainland China. I have heard more offensive comments from friends who say that these international (Chinese) students are unsanitary, rude, "smell weird" and "should just speak English". Having lived in China, I know that these students aren't actually "rude" - they're shy about English being their second-language, just as anyone picking up a second language would be. I have seen the initial looks of hesitation on people's faces when I first introduce myself as "international" (especially when I went through Greek sorority recruitment week at UC Irvine), and many of these people ended up writing me off because of the many presumptions they had about international students.
Ironically, I can safely say after living in China that the Chinese people are the most welcoming group of people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. While other nations turn their noses up at the Chinese tourists and immigrants in their country, the Chinese have been nothing but welcoming towards expatriates and foreigners. People in China were extremely accommodating towards my lack of Chinese-speaking ability, and would try to Google Translate what they were saying into English for me. Our local Chinese driver would often drive two hours out of his way into a province in order to surprise my family with the peaches he knew we loved. This behavior was completely the opposite of that I had experienced in other countries. In New York City (where I was the only Asian and non-American girl in my middle school), I was the target of comments like, "you must eat dog because you're Asian", "wow your English is really good for someone from Asia" and "do you live in Chinatown?", while in Korea, an old man came up to my sister and her friends (who were speaking English on a crowded street in Seoul) and told them that "you stupid bitches should shut the fuck up and speak Korean in Korea". People are extremely unforgiving towards people who do not assimilate in the local culture, and I have seen this pattern in every country I have ever lived in, except for China.
Many people I have met here in America (especially New York and California) are quick to spurn people of other countries as stupid and backwards. I have been the receiver of comments like, "Wow, you must be so fortunate to be able to study here!" Ironically, I have found that Americans are often (hilariously) the ones being dismissed as stupid and backwards outside of the United States, especially in the international school community. Whenever I return to Singapore during the long summer break, my grandmother often brags (as grandmothers do) to her friends about how well I am doing in college to which she often hears responses like, "Well your granddaughter studies in America. It's so much easier there - she had better be getting good grades. Did she not get into any schools in Singapore?"
It is very unsettling to feel like an outsider wherever you go. Here in America, I'm too international. Back in Singapore, I'm too American. People have boxed themselves into one-dimensional categories in which you either are, or you are not. To this I say: what the fuck?
I was born in Singapore, but moved to New York City when I was 10. From there, we moved to Shanghai, China just after my 13th birthday in which I attended two different international schools in the span of two and a half years. After China, my father was posted to Seoul, South Korea where I spent a year and a half finishing up high school before I applied to school in California, where I currently reside at the University of California, Irvine.
Being a third culture kid is confusing, exhausting and stressful. I say this because the people I meet outside of the international community often 1) don't understand my experiences, or 2) think I'm lying about my experiences. I have been exposed to both the local culture of the countries I have moved to, as well as the cultures of my friends. Attending international schools has allowed me the experience to learn about a myriad of different cultures and meet people from countries I will probably never be able to visit. In my senior year, my friend group alone consisted of individuals from India, Korea, Kuwait, America, Belgium, Germany, Australia, England, Sweden and Canada.
Here we have a portion of my group of friends at my senior prom
Countries of origin from left to right: America/Korea, India, India, Canada/Korea, Kuwait/Belgium/England, Singapore (me), America/Korea, America/Korea
The two moves I have struggled with most have been the ones from Singapore to New York City (at age 10), and from South Korea to California (at age 18). Part of the reason behind this is because America hates (for lack of better word) foreigners. The attitude that Americans have towards foreigners and international students really astounds me; there are so many unspoken negative connotations that come with being "international". Upon meeting me, people tell me that they "can't even tell" that I'm international like it's a fucking compliment. Being a foreigner in America is associated with the stereotype of Mexicans climbing over the fence separating the borders of America and Mexico.
My biggest pet peeve is when people look at international students and say that they should speak English or dress a certain way because "they're in America now". A friend of mine literally said this, word for word, just the other day, completely forgetting that I myself am an international student. Upon realizing her momentary lack of discretion, she quickly apologized. I remain confused: why would I ever conform to the ways in which you think I should act? The longer I stay here [in America], the more it bothers me that I have nowhere to go and that there is no place where I will ever fully fit in.
In fact, I have found that the international school community is my only safe haven where being international is considered to be a good thing. International schools often have their own culture - a culture that I have spent most of my developmental years in and have trouble letting go of. The more places one has lived in or traveled to, the better. International kids often have the same accent - one that isn't American, isn't British and isn't really anything but a mix of different accents from amalgamating with different cultures. Those in the international community often know of each other; my friend from Seoul is now attending high school with a friend from Shanghai in Edinburgh, Scotland; my cousins attended the same international school in Dubai as a kid I had met in Shanghai. International kids argue over which country has the best food and are able to joke about each others' countries without being racially offensive.
From my very first day at "International Orientation" at UC Irvine, during which we were taught to fist-bump and high-five, I have noticed that there is a certain prejudice that I have noticed specifically here at UC Irvine that targets international students. The majority of the international students here are from mainland China. I have heard more offensive comments from friends who say that these international (Chinese) students are unsanitary, rude, "smell weird" and "should just speak English". Having lived in China, I know that these students aren't actually "rude" - they're shy about English being their second-language, just as anyone picking up a second language would be. I have seen the initial looks of hesitation on people's faces when I first introduce myself as "international" (especially when I went through Greek sorority recruitment week at UC Irvine), and many of these people ended up writing me off because of the many presumptions they had about international students.
Ironically, I can safely say after living in China that the Chinese people are the most welcoming group of people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. While other nations turn their noses up at the Chinese tourists and immigrants in their country, the Chinese have been nothing but welcoming towards expatriates and foreigners. People in China were extremely accommodating towards my lack of Chinese-speaking ability, and would try to Google Translate what they were saying into English for me. Our local Chinese driver would often drive two hours out of his way into a province in order to surprise my family with the peaches he knew we loved. This behavior was completely the opposite of that I had experienced in other countries. In New York City (where I was the only Asian and non-American girl in my middle school), I was the target of comments like, "you must eat dog because you're Asian", "wow your English is really good for someone from Asia" and "do you live in Chinatown?", while in Korea, an old man came up to my sister and her friends (who were speaking English on a crowded street in Seoul) and told them that "you stupid bitches should shut the fuck up and speak Korean in Korea". People are extremely unforgiving towards people who do not assimilate in the local culture, and I have seen this pattern in every country I have ever lived in, except for China.
Many people I have met here in America (especially New York and California) are quick to spurn people of other countries as stupid and backwards. I have been the receiver of comments like, "Wow, you must be so fortunate to be able to study here!" Ironically, I have found that Americans are often (hilariously) the ones being dismissed as stupid and backwards outside of the United States, especially in the international school community. Whenever I return to Singapore during the long summer break, my grandmother often brags (as grandmothers do) to her friends about how well I am doing in college to which she often hears responses like, "Well your granddaughter studies in America. It's so much easier there - she had better be getting good grades. Did she not get into any schools in Singapore?"
It is very unsettling to feel like an outsider wherever you go. Here in America, I'm too international. Back in Singapore, I'm too American. People have boxed themselves into one-dimensional categories in which you either are, or you are not. To this I say: what the fuck?
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